What We Do Matters - A Ponderable...

The passing of “Avalon Johnny” and his brother prompted Annie to write this piece as a reminder to us all: What. We. Do. Matters!! Read on! —the editor

I remember when I was really starting to get into hockey, besides the pace of the game and the “fun-ness” of it all, I began to pay attention to players and their stories. Early on, I learned about “Avalon Johnny” (my name for him) from a Players Tribune piece he wrote. Johnny Gaudreau was a little guy on the Calgary Flames (NHL team) who was speedy — zipping around the rink with pure joy. If I had managed to get my dad to watch hockey, Avalon Johnny would have been a favorite of his too.

The league knew him as “Johnny Hockey.” I conjured up “Avalon Johnny” because of a post I saw on the Calgary Flames website where he was giving a tour of his shore home… in Avalon, New Jersey (?!).

Hey, I know that Avalon… The “Cooler by the Mile” that my mom covered in her weekly column (“The Seven Mile Beach”) she wrote for The Cape May Herald. For sure, she would have done a piece about him. I can hear it in my ears.

With sadness, I received the news that Avalon Johnny and his brother are no more due to a horrendous accident caused by a careless, unaware individual making an impulsive move —killing the brothers on the eve of their sister’s wedding. News reports say the driver admitted to drinking 5 to 6 beers before getting behind the wheel. Another loss of lives tied to drunk driving?

Yes, and…

Here’s my key learning from this awful accident. It is something we ALL can ponder… DAILY! This transcends driving while impaired.

I am starting here because that’s the higher-level message that needs to be communicated. Why? Because it is too easy for a “Yeah, so” reaction to drunk driving (I’d never drive drunk!). That being said, we are all guilty from time to time of being impulsive and impatient — making a rash move when we shouldn’t have. Going for it… because we can and perhaps due to an emotional over-ride.

Yup, emotions have a way of triggering behavior fueled by anxiety and pent-up energy.

Embolden to act…

But doing so without awareness or consideration is an accident waiting to happen…

But doing so without awareness or consideration is an accident waiting to happen (hate that that cliche applies here, but it does).

Through persistence and proactive-ness on my part, I kinda developed a way that works for me, day-to-day, as I strive find and sustain a happy place of my own.

People will often hear me saying “Awareness is Job One.” It’s a play off of a Ford slogan from years ago, that to me is key.

The three As are:

Aware. Accept. Adapt.

Then you move –> “Flex-n-Flo!”

Before delving into the concept further, let’s discuss some visuals…

See My Eyes – One…

I remember the first time I did an impulsive move during a running race in high school. I was supposed to make my move at the 3/4 mark of the race. Feeling the pace was too slow, I went early, got reeled in, and lost by a bunch. It was so out-of-character for me ( as I never move early).
What the…? Patience was (and always was) my game. Yikes! Bad but no tragic ramifications.

See My Eyes – Two…

Years later I’m running a marathon in San Francisco. My successes in previous road races AND the New York City marathon were due to patience and persistence. Pitter-patter tempo with no big swings or variances. Yet for some reason, the moment got away from me and I was up with the leaders — heading over the Golden Gate Bridge — early on in the race (like the first third of the 26-miler). Felt great until… it didn’t. Oh the slog! The wall? It’s real! The nightmares of running in place or across sand going nowhere? Very real! Again, the move, was out of character. The results — tough lesson. But at least nobody got hurt.

See My Eyes – Three

This is what I’ll refer to as the “whoops, shit!” move. You are driving along and notice the vehicle in front is moving like the driver is confused. You’re thinking … do I hang back or swing around to give him a wide berth. Time’s a ticking — you choose and sometimes you lose… and the confused driver veers into your lane, causing you to slam the brakes and hang on for fear of being rear-ended. Then as your heart rate gets back to normal, you think — I could’ve hung back and waited. So what if I’m late. Leave earlier!

Key Learning: Impulsive Moves Have Consequences…

We all need to step up the aware quotient in life as every action DOES ripple. We, as in each of us, are NOT moving in isolation. Rather, what we do matters!

The energy we use. The energy we project. It all matters!

If we let it, the “dark side” can flow through us… impacting others.

Worth repeating: Our life approach matters!

If we proactively live the “Yea to life!” / “Let’s figure it out together” / “Keep smiling” side, we matter as the positive energy flows through us to others. We can matter!

Speaking of Flo… It Flows!!

Just like a river, right? Our “Flo” should flow, not be all herky-jerky. For sure, not impulsive. Flow is like nature taught us (and continues to teach us if we are willing). Think the rhythm of the tides and the gentleness of the streams. In life… our daily living… the “Flo” can make it feel like you are moving a foot off the ground with no impedance — gliding along. And the cool thing is, others may choose to “Flo” along with you which makes for a really fun and energetic environment to “play” in.

It’s that “I get to work! (woo hoo!!)” feeling NOT the “I have to work” one where you are dragging and taking others on the slog with you. Remember the bridge? (see above) Don’t go there! It’s not fun there.

Better to live “Flex-n-Flo!” in a “I got this/we got this” world of your own creation.

So Awareness Matters…

Let’s drill down a bit, as long as we’re talking about our role within a business environment (where you “get to work”).

I found it helps to step back and see where you can best add value. To put your activities in the context of how it helps customers and co-workers. And you need to ask yourself, “Is this the best use of my time?” Or perhaps I should “Flex-n-Flo” in another direction — letting that activity be accomplished by someone who may have the skills or physical attributes better suited for the situation.

Aware. Accept. Adapt. Then Flex-n-Flo!

Of course, add in a strong dash of communication. This approach works IF communication flows. It is “the way.”

That’s a Wrap!

Actually, this is a strong “To Be Continued…” because (a) I DO have more to say on the subject; but also (b) I have to give you time to ponder what I’ve written so far. With that in mind, let’s conclude this piece with the following:

As we move throughout our day…

Be Proactive…
…more Aware

Breathe…
…and Accept

Adapt…
…then “Flex-n-Flo!”

Remember what each of us does… DOES MATTER!

And with that…